Funny Dumpster » blonde

The Blonde Kidnapper

Admin — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 21:12:18 +0000

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

Overweight Blonde

Admin — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 22:52:02 +0000

A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.”
“From hunger, you mean?”
“No, from skipping.

Blondes On The Sun

Admin — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 16:38:29 +0000

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’

The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’

The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’ The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’ said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’

Car Trouble

Admin — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 16:36:33 +0000

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, ‘What’s the story?’

He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’

She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’